What does the month of ‘June’ bring up for you?
For me, it’s lilacs, transition, shedding the old and ushering in the new. It’s also so much warmer here in Maine…. And, I love summer and walking on my beach.
But, the last few months I’ve found I’ve had to consciously work on walking my talk.
It isn’t nearly as easy (or fun. or gratifying.) working with myself as it is with clients. But, I had some unexpected visitors.
My youngest daughter, Emily, is graduating from high school this weekend. (yes, that’s a yay!) It is a special time in her life. As an intuitive, an empath and someone who feels everything oh so very deeply, I’m one who has to watch out for porous boundaries and empathy overload. So, rather than hitting the mark, this hit me hard.
The last few months, I experienced it as ‘my second and last child is leaving’. Then it became …’…leaving me’. (When really she isn’t. She is graduating high school).
I have always been emotionally invested in each of my daughters lives. They’re great young women. I enjoy them. I love them. I’m so happy I like them, too. I’m pretty good at reading another’s soul essence and I fully realize I won the lottery with these two. They are two of my greatest teachers.
But, with my youngest graduating, I got a bad case of the ‘Now, What’s?’
Even thinking…maybe a couple more cats would fill the space up in my empty house and heart.
But, you know what? I made someone else’s life path and journey all about me. Another’s positive and natural life transition presented as a loss to me, instead of a joyous occasion. Yep, apparently, I went there. I had to look at this carefully.
This much I knew: I didn’t enjoy grieving this as a loss because I know better. But, I was. It was uncomfortable and it did not serve me or suit my personality.
So, I did what I do with my own clients…I looked at this with an observer’s eye and not as the ‘me’ in the fire of emotion. When I did, I found there was a little more to it than my daughter ‘leaving’.
We cannot change what we do not acknowledge, right?
I was able to realize that by participating in a relationship with the lack, fear and loss triplets, I was cheating myself of a tremendous gift…enjoying the beauty that was going on around me in the now.
As I met each visitor head on, I did not judge them. Instead, I welcomed and honored each one. Just sat with them, truly feeling them out…until I understood who they were, where they originated and why they were visiting now. It was a process each time they showed up.
I sent love to the wounded parts of me that needed a hug.
I sent away the passed down or inherited thought patterns that were not mine. The universe has a way of getting our attention. And, sooner or later, it will.
Transmuting the energy with a tweak in perspective completely changed my experience. I’m participating in the present now. I am now able to show and experience what I truly think and feel: Happy! Proud! and Grateful for this young woman who is graduating with high honors and going to the college of her dreams.
This is all about her…. her path, and her journey. Not mine.
And, my journey is mine. I found, I will be fine, too. Not only fine, free to dig in to more of what it is I came here to do.
There is always so much to look forward to, to create and dream about..but it doesn’t mean it’s ‘where we live’….We must not live or hang out in the past either. The only point of power is now.
I’m incredibly honored to have the privilege to love and guide both of my daughters to adulthood. They have guided me as well.
They’re part of my forever flock. I haven’t lost a thing.
Perspective really is everything.
It was all very real, but I found, little was true.
Be gentle with yourself.
What is true for you? How are you experiencing?